How to Simplify Communication with Men

A No-Stress Guide for Talking to Your Man

Couple Communicating Stress-Free

Sunshines, we’ve all been there trying to have a simple conversation with the man in our life, only to realize we’ve lost him halfway through. Sound familiar? If so, you’re not alone! Here’s the thing: men don’t always process things the way we do, and it can be frustrating. Trust me, I get it. But here’s the good news: they aren’t mind readers, and they don’t follow us when we hop from topic to topic. So, how do we make sure our message comes across loud and clear? Let’s dive in and explore a few simple steps to keep things stress-free and, most importantly, effective. Ready? Let’s begin!

1. Issue #1: Overloading with Details

Are you someone who loves details? If so, you might unknowingly be overwhelming your man with information. We tend to think that more details = more clarity, but in reality, he’s probably drowning, and all he hears is blah, blah, blah

Better Choice: Keep it simple! Focus on the key points. Think of it like a highlight reel, not a full-length video. This approach helps him stay engaged and actually absorb what you’re saying.

Why It Works: When you overload him with every little detail, the main point gets lost. He’s confused, you’re frustrated, and neither of you is happy. Girl, less is more.

On to the next point, because simplifying isn’t just about details—it’s about directness.

2. Issue #2: Expecting Him to “Just Get It”

Sunshines, this is a big one. You might be dropping hints, giving subtle clues, or hoping he’ll just magically know what you need or how you feel. But here’s a reality check: he won’t. Men aren’t wired to read between the lines, so it’s time to cut out the guessing games.

Better Choice: Say what you mean—directly. If you want something, ask without attitude. If something’s bothering you, tell him. He doesn’t want to play detective.

Why It Works: Clear communication takes the pressure off him to decode your message, and it saves you from feeling unheard or misunderstood. No more frustration!

Let’s keep going because emotions play a big role in how we communicate.

3. Issue #3: Overly Emotional Language

Now, I’m not saying don’t express your feelings (we’re all about being in touch with our emotions), but if you lead with intense emotions, he might miss the actual point. Men can get lost in the emotion and fail to focus on the issue at hand.

Better Choice: Balance emotions with clarity. Start with how you feel, but quickly follow up with a clear explanation of what the problem is. And girl, use those “I” statements! They’re a game-changer.

Why It Works: When you’re clear about what you need while expressing your feelings, he can process both without getting defensive. It keeps things calm, productive, and respectful. And you will score cool points!

Now that you have these tips, let’s put them into action.

Now You Know:

  • Stick to the essential points to keep his attention.
  • Clearly state your needs—no guessing games.
  • Minimize emotional expression and use clear, direct language to make sure the real issue is understood.
  • Develop new communication habits to gain a real connection.
  • Speak in a way that fosters understanding, not confusion.

Simplify Communication with Men Today:

  • Reflect on how you’ve been communicating—could things be clearer?
  • Plan ahead: try summarizing your main points before diving into a conversation.
  • Make space for direct, open communication with your man. You’ll both benefit.
  • Practice using “I” statements. Watch how they keep things grounded and respectful.

Remember, “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” – Colossians 4:6

Active Listening: More Than Just Hearing Words

In this fast-paced digital world, conversations often occur in snippets and sound bites, the profound act of truly listening has taken a backseat. But let’s pause and reflect on a powerful insight: Listening is not a passive activity. It takes an active effort to understand not just the words, but the emotions and intentions behind them. This statement opens a world of wisdom about communication, connection, and compassion in our interactions with others.

Understanding Active Listening

Active listening is a conscious process that involves not only hearing the words spoken but also comprehending the complete message being conveyed. It’s about tuning into the nuances of tone, the unspoken or hidden emotions, and the intentions dangling just between the lines. In essence, active listening is the bridge that connects the islands of human experiences, enabling us to understand each other’s worlds a bit better.

The Activity of Active Listening
Active listening is composed of several actions that comprise the active listening skillset. Image below briefly describes the activity of listening.

Why Is Active Listening Important?

Active listening is foundational to building strong relationships, whether personal or professional. It fosters an environment of trust and respect, where people feel valued and understood. In a world where everyone wants to be heard, giving of yourself to listen can transform interactions in profound ways.

A Scenario: The Lost Art Rediscovered

Imagine Amy, a manager in a bustling corporate office. Her days are filled with meetings, emails, and constant problem-solving. Amidst this whirlwind of activity, Amy realizes her team’s morale has been dwindling. The usual vibrancy and collaboration have given way to silence and disengagement.

Determined to turn things around, Amy holds a series of one-on-one meetings with her team. But this time with a twist, she approaches these meetings differently. Instead of the usual rush to offer solutions, Amy focuses on actively listening. She pays attention to not just what her team members say but how they say it: their hesitations, any stress in their voices, and the unspoken concerns behind their words.

As the meetings progress, Amy discovers concerns and ideas that had never surfaced in team meetings. She realizes that her team members didn’t just need directives; they needed to be heard, to feel that their contributions mattered.

Armed with these insights, Amy makes changes to how the team operates, encouraging more open communication and creating spaces for everyone to share their thoughts and feelings. Over time, the office begins to buzz with energy again, as team members feel more connected and valued.

The Ripple Effect of Active Listening

Amy’s story is a testament to the transformative power of active listening. By choosing to listen actively, she not only identified and addressed the underlying issues affecting her team but also fostered a culture of mutual respect and understanding. The effects of active listening can extend beyond the workplace, enhancing personal relationships, community interactions, and even communication on social platforms.

Developing the Skill of Active Listening

Becoming an active listener takes learning and practice. Here are some tips that expand on the list above to grow this skill:

Be Present: No multitasking. Giving someone your full attention is a precious gift. Resist the urge to check your phone or think about your response while the other person is speaking. It can be difficult, but you can do it!

Maintain Eye Contact: No staring, please. This non-verbal cue shows you are engaged and interested in what the speaker has to say.

Reflect and Clarify: Periodically, summarize what you’ve heard and ask clarifying questions. This informs the speaker that you are actively following the conversation and care about accurately understanding what’s being communicated.

Acknowledge Feelings: Acknowledge and affirm the speaker’s emotions. Saying things like “That sounds challenging” or “I can see why you’d feel that way” can make a significant difference.

Practice Patience: Let the conversation unfold naturally without rushing to fill silences or immediately offering solutions.

By embracing the art of active listening, we not only hear more but also understand and connect on a level beyond words, weaving our own fabric of genuine human connection.

How to Have Your Best Year Yet!

It’s March 2017. Why a Happy New Year message? Because for many, the high and honorable aspirations at the start of the year have diminished.

2016 was a mixed bag of opportunities and challenges. We’re three months into the year and opportunities and challenges still exist or await. Knowing this, smile even if you have to force it for now, adjust our attitudes, help others, and prepare to discover creative ways to move forward. Often it is easier said than done. Wouldn’t it be fantastic to look back on 2017 as YOUR best year yet?

Work through any challenges and changes that come your way. You can predict and prepare for challenges that are consistent with daily living: job stress, marital issues, career problems, family health concerns and your child’s educational needs. You needn’t journey alone. Why would you do that? Benefits occur when you associate with people who like you and want to help you get to a less challenging place. Caution: Be certain those surrounding you are supporters. Keep your distance from anyone who might undermine your efforts.

How can you live your dream?

Dream BIG! Be faithful to your dream everyday.  Nourish, feed, and care for your dream. Baby steps and big steps forward embedded in prayer, the support of others, and a continual view towards the future will drive your dream into reality. Remember, the dream is more about the journey than the destination. Learn to enjoy the journey.  This reminds me of starting a weight loss program. I had my dream of a healthier, thinner me. Yet my baby steps included fewer calories, more exercise, and UGH!  Just being honest. Yet, over time, I begin to feel better, want to work out and eat healthy food. My mirror began to show my dream taking shape.  As 2017 presents you with challenges and changes take courage. Reflect negative situations and doubts with action and a faithful attitude. Say out loud words that give authority to your dream and ignite your passion to keep moving forward.

Let me know how your year is shaping up!  Leave a response.

The Clock Struck Midnight

Happy Mother's DayHappy Mother’s Day text messages warmed my heart throughout the day. So much so that I sat pensive. I realized that I was loving the very moment that I’d become aware. It was perfect. It needed nothing and then it was gone. How often are you aware of the moment? Or a day that seems perfectly made for you? Imagine it. They are rare. Mother’s Day 2016 was that day for me.

And then the clock struck midnight. Life interrupted! Prepare for interruptions. Expect the unexpected. Finding a humane trap that prevented leaving her den, the skunk living under my front stoop when the clock struck midnight, filled my home with her wrath. She was spraying mad. Continue reading “The Clock Struck Midnight”