Sunshine Why?

How to Simplify Communication with Men

A No-Stress Guide for Talking to Your Man

Sunshines, we’ve all been there trying to have a simple conversation with the man in our life, only to realize we’ve lost him halfway through. Sound familiar? If so, you’re not alone! Here’s the thing: men don’t always process things the way we do, and it can be frustrating. Trust me, I get it. But here’s the good news: they aren’t mind readers, and they don’t follow us when we hop from topic to topic. So, how do we make sure our message comes across loud and clear? Let’s dive in and explore a few simple steps to keep things stress-free and, most importantly, effective. Ready? Let’s begin!

1. Issue #1: Overloading with Details

Are you someone who loves details? If so, you might unknowingly be overwhelming your man with information. We tend to think that more details = more clarity, but in reality, he’s probably drowning, and all he hears is blah, blah, blah…

Better Choice: Keep it simple! Focus on the key points. Think of it like a highlight reel, not a full-length video. This approach helps him stay engaged and actually absorb what you’re saying.

Why It Works: When you overload him with every little detail, the main point gets lost. He’s confused, you’re frustrated, and neither of you is happy. Girl, less is more.

On to the next point, because simplifying isn’t just about details—it’s about directness.

2. Issue #2: Expecting Him to “Just Get It”

Sunshines, this is a big one. You might be dropping hints, giving subtle clues, or hoping he’ll just magically know what you need or how you feel. But here’s a reality check: he won’t. Men aren’t wired to read between the lines, so it’s time to cut out the guessing games.

Better Choice: Say what you mean—directly. If you want something, ask without attitude. If something’s bothering you, tell him. He doesn’t want to play detective.

Why It Works: Clear communication takes the pressure off him to decode your message, and it saves you from feeling unheard or misunderstood. No more frustration!

Let’s keep going because emotions play a big role in how we communicate.

3. Issue #3: Overly Emotional Language

Now, I’m not saying don’t express your feelings (we’re all about being in touch with our emotions), but if you lead with intense emotions, he might miss the actual point. Men can get lost in the emotion and fail to focus on the issue at hand.

Better Choice: Balance emotions with clarity. Start with how you feel, but quickly follow up with a clear explanation of what the problem is. And girl, use those “I” statements! They’re a game-changer.

Why It Works: When you’re clear about what you need while expressing your feelings, he can process both without getting defensive. It keeps things calm, productive, and respectful. And you will score cool points!

Now that you have these tips, let’s put them into action.

Now You Know:

Stick to the essential points to keep his attention.
Clearly state your needs—no guessing games.
Minimize emotional expression and use clear, direct language to make sure the real issue is understood.
Develop new communication habits to gain a real connection.
Speak in a way that fosters understanding, not confusion.

Simplify Communication with Men Today:

Reflect on how you’ve been communicating—could things be clearer?
Plan ahead: try summarizing your main points before diving into a conversation.
Make space for direct, open communication with your man. You’ll both benefit.
Practice using “I” statements. Watch how they keep things grounded and respectful.

Remember, “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” – Colossians 4:6

Don’t Let the Thought of Speaking Punk You

The sixth-grade talent show was not one of my finer moments. Forty-six eyes assessed my audition. I belted out “…Go tell it on the mountains over the hills and everywhere…,” Mr. Richards smiled warmly. “Lindsay, when you’re on the stage and you notice the audience getting noisy, sing louder,” he said. It was good advice, at least that’s what I thought then. I wore my two-toned, pink ruffled dress to improve my confidence. Even then I knew the effect pink has on people.

A month of rehearsals later, the school auditorium was brimming with chatter and expectation. From behind the curtain, in a loud voice I heard, “Up next is Lindsay Brown. Give Lindsay a hand.” I shook a little inside and glanced at the audience. What an odd couple we were.

I wore my two-toned, pink ruffled dress to improve my confidence.

That dress was an emblem to remind me that I was safe. Do you have an emblem? Perhaps, a cap, button, U.S. flag pin, a cross necklace, belt buckle, shoes, or something else that anchors you. Back to our story, I scanned the audience to see if I knew anyone. I was looking for a familiar face. While singing, I heard other voices beginning to compete with mine. I sang on. Some audience members shifted their bodies to make eye contact because that’s what you do when you’re having a conversation.

A bit miffed, I sang louder. They snapped to as if Celine Dion walked on the stage. Lessons learned from my sixth grade singing experience influence me even today.

Things I learned:

Getting louder is effective if the sound system isn’t working.
Loudness is not the remedy for an inattentive audience; interesting relevant content will maintain audience attention.
Know your audience; don’t sing a Pollyanna song to a rock ‘n’ roll audience.
How you dress impacts how you feel.
Your confidence must come from within.
Always have in your back pocket a tool, technique, or trick (juggling eggs, kidding) to bring the audience back should they wander away.
Connect with people; don’t just scan the room.

female speaker

Do I still sing publicly, no. Not out of fear. Mainly out of not being a good singer. I accept that I am a speaker. You’re a speaker too. Your audience is those at home, at school, or at work. Should you feel that internal shake when you’re about the take your stage, shake it off. Don’t let the thought of speaking in public punk you. Punk the stage! Punk speaking! Your audience wants to hear YOU!

How to Have Your Best Year Yet!

It’s March 2017. Why a Happy New Year message? Because for many, the high and honorable aspirations at the start of the year have diminished.

2016 was a mixed bag of opportunities and challenges. We’re three months into the year and opportunities and challenges still exist or await. Knowing this, smile even if you have to force it for now, adjust our attitudes, help others, and prepare to discover creative ways to move forward. Often it is easier said than done. Wouldn’t it be fantastic to look back on 2017 as YOUR best year yet?

Work through any challenges and changes that come your way. You can predict and prepare for challenges that are consistent with daily living: job stress, marital issues, career problems, family health concerns and your child’s educational needs. You needn’t journey alone. Why would you do that? Benefits occur when you associate with people who like you and want to help you get to a less challenging place. Caution: Be certain those surrounding you are supporters. Keep your distance from anyone who might undermine your efforts.

How can you live your dream?

Dream BIG! Be faithful to your dream everyday. Nourish, feed, and care for your dream. Baby steps and big steps forward embedded in prayer, the support of others, and a continual view towards the future will drive your dream into reality. Remember, the dream is more about the journey than the destination. Learn to enjoy the journey. This reminds me of starting a weight loss program. I had my dream of a healthier, thinner me. Yet my baby steps included fewer calories, more exercise, and UGH! Just being honest. Yet, over time, I begin to feel better, want to work out and eat healthy food. My mirror began to show my dream taking shape. As 2017 presents you with challenges and changes take courage. Reflect negative situations and doubts with action and a faithful attitude. Say out loud words that give authority to your dream and ignite your passion to keep moving forward.

Let me know how your year is shaping up! Leave a response.

5 Barriers to Communication

It’s difficult to win friends and influence people positively if you’re engaging in offensive behaviors that set people’s teeth on edge. Often people are unaware of behaviors that cultivate barriers to communication, especially when authority relationships exist. Stop your employees or coworkers are talking behind you back, review the five barriers to communication. Be honest with yourself if you identify behaviors that seem all too familiar. Change is possible when you become aware of what needs to change.

Avoid these 5 Barriers to Communication

1. Excessive authority, bullying and creating fear of openness in others

Excessive authority is often the result of assertiveness on steroids. While assertiveness helps those in authority to stay on task and to achieve goals, aggressiveness can raise its head turning directness into disconfirming behaviors which cause the object of the aggressive message to shrink back. Restrictions to open communications, if left unchecked, will stunt the growth of an organization and its people. Create a fear free workplace and home life where communicative openness is appreciated and rewarded. Continue reading “5 Barriers to Communication”